Grief And How It Served Me

At the age of 3 my biological mother left to claim the bottle (alcohol) and my dad was left to take care of the 4 children. He then remarried a women of the angelic Archetype named Rebecca. This was a women that came with full super power of love and the ideal motherly duties. She was such an incredible mother, but mostly more importantly she embodied the essence of what a humble human is to be in this world. She was active in school PTA and always dressed up for every holiday. She wore smile like it was her job. Ill never forget the time I got in trouble and she advised me to be grounded in my room until further notice. I screamed and cried. Until after an hour or so she came in, came close and held me. The way that a little child needs to feel. Accepted for making a mistake and sharing unconditional love. She always knew how to manage to keep the family all feeling loved and supported.


At the age of 6 she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She took it really well. She and my dad made an agreement to do whatever it took to cure this disease. So for the last few years after she was diagnosed she did the treatments that were given to her and even went as far as to Europe to get treatment. Nothing truly was helping. At the end she was becoming very sick and even at 8-9 years old I would try to sooth her with my touch. I’ll never forgot the time I pulled the lotion bottle out and gave her loving touch to sooth her. Intuitively I knew I wanted to do something with healing by that time. At the age of 10 she finally made her way out of this earthly body and transitioned. I was devastated of course but held on and did what I knew best at a young age.

Time continued on as we as a family had more things to conquer up ahead, I won't go into more of the story until the next blog but feel called to discuss death and how this served me.

​See if we don’t know death, or grief we tend to bottle up many things and don’t have much patience for our fellow human beings. The true teaching I was given was that death is life. Its a force of true change, true depth, true empathy. It allowed me to witness the magic of the present moment. That all we have is this very essence of the now. The spaces between each breath. The intimacy with all things. The true beloved within and around us. This is the gift of life. I often say how is your breath? how is your life? As they are so interconnected. My mother has passed but her breath of life is embedded in me forever. I use my breath like its my last. Living out my deepest desires. Using a way to transcend the breath into a perspective of wisdom and grace. The grace I received through getting through the death of my mother was astounding. I truly have a notion that if we lose something we gain even more.

​Change is constant for me and my journey and I prefer it that way. This deep grief I have had from losing the most precious person has given me a way to have the kind of compassion for others as much as the goddess of Kuan Yin. If we are here to become the greatest leaders, healers, visionaries etc we must have the depths of compassion for our fellow human beings. My heart is cracked wide open for the ways of being of service for the greater good. This is it, the times of the new ages, new paradigms and heart centered beings all around. Will you be a part of this new earth? Its a place where love runs free. <3